And then I'll probably read Angels in America and crank out a few pages on my novel.
And when I can't put it off absolutely no more at all, I'll do my homework.
=D
Even the overachievers procrastinate, friends. Except that we procrastinate in the way that--if we were adults--we'd make everyone jealous.
Consider the following scenario:
ME (in 20 years, aged 38): Just relaxing at home. Big cup of coffee with hazelnut creamer, watching some Tarantino, and reading a Pulitzer prize winning play. Later, I will be working on my own novel. :)
(Let's assume this is a Facebook status update, although I doubt that--with as fast as Myspace tanked--we'll really be using Facebook in twenty years)
AS OPPOSED TO: lol Farmville update.
Just saying. :) Not having a life now means I'll be a badass adult. (hopefully)
Speaking of being a badass adult: Columbia interview tomorrow, and my Yale and Harvard interviews were last week. To say the least, they went schwimmingly. Especially Yale. Thirty minute interview turned into a two-hour chat. With a former chemistry teacher that graduated with George Bush and used to be drinking buddies with him and that met Asimov. ASIMOV. And we talked about everything from Seinfeld to how my interviewer took a class with William Penn Warren.
Oh, yeah. Badassery, here I come.
OH. OH OH OH. Why, no, that isn't a Satanist Santa Claus. That is me having an Eli Roth-induced coronary.
Eli "the Bear Jew" Roth--also known as my future partner in crime (it's going to happen, I tell you!)--is currently in China (Shanghai mostly, I think) working on a martial arts film that will be staring Russell Crowe and Lucy Liu. He co-wrote it with RZA. It shall be called The Man with the Iron Fists.
Click ye mouse pointer here:
http://www.eli-roth.com/
Some people have questioned my Eli Roth love. So I want to step into my fangirl shoes (do I ever really step out of them?) and say why I love him so.
So time for a segment called LAS RAZONES PARA MI AMOR DE ELI ROTH.
Razon el primero:
I have a fairly simple trifecta of reasons for why I will crush on any given guy. And those general reasons are this:
- He's English/Irish/Welsh/Scottish. (Although I teeeend to prefer le Englishman.)
- He's a musician.
- He's Jewish.
Now, any given guy does not need to fall into all three of those categories. My boyfriend of three-plus years is English and a musician. Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day is a musician. Alex Kapranos of Franz Ferdinand is Scottish (with an English father and Greek mother--I'm not a stalker, I'm just thorough) and a musician.
And Eli Roth is a Jew.
I cannot explain to you why I like Jewish men.
But there's just something about a man being man enough to rock a kippah that I think is really pretty snazzy.
RAZON EL SEGUNDO
Eli's just pretty to look at. Full lips. Nice muscles. (Thank you Donny Donowitz--Eli put on 40 pounds of muscle for this role!) And OHMYGRAVY his EYELASHES. Oh, and his eyes. Baaaah.
RAZON EL...dammit...I don't know how to say "third" in Spanish.
Eli is batshit bonkers. And he's not afraid to admit it. And he admits it in terms of psycological catharsis that he learned from his father who is a retired psychology professor at Harvard.
To the side is a picture of a girly girl from Hostel 2. Not only is she being touched by the man himself, but she's also about to die in one of his movies.
If I got the privilege of dying in a horror movie, I would love love love it to be one of Eli's. And I wouldn't mind if it was me hanging upside down from a meathook, as pictured at left.=D
ANYWAY. I'm not done giving you my reasons, fool.
REASON THE FOURTH (Spanish is a hassle, yo)
He's a nerd. Total, total nerd. Notice the Cannibal Holocaust shirt that he is wearing in this picture. This man's love of horror movies runs deep. If there was such thing as being a horror movie scholar, Eli would be the epitome of this.
REASON THE FIFTH
He's a faithful devotee of--and friends with--QUENTIN EFFIN' TARANTINO. I don't think this needs explanation.
REASON THE SIXTH
He's really intelligent. He often gets painted--being a member of the Splat Pack--as sort of a mediocre torture porn director. (If I hear one more person use the term "torture porn" in tandem with a horror flick, I'm going to send them the goriest S&M thing I can and say, "No, friend. THIS is torture porn. Horror is art.") But this maaan. He graduated top of his class at NYU film school. Writes prolifically. Wrote Hostel as a commentary on the Bush administration. Keeps a journal of his dreams and analyzes the dreams of others (saw that on an interview last week). But he seems approachable. Which leads me toooo
REASON THE SEVENTH
He's approachable. He has a Twitter and communicates with his fans. He had an incident two-ish years ago where he had cyber sex with a bunch of his fans. (I would say "Three cheers for the Blueberries!" here, but they turned to megabitches when he started dating Peaches Geldof--they've broken up since.) He seems like the kind of guy that you could have a really intelligent conversation with, and yet feel fine with going somewhere to just have a drink with him. (In this hypothetical situation, I'm talking about Europe. I'm fully aware that I'm too young to drink in the States. So I don't drink in the States.)
So. In short. He's a super-awesome, super-crazy, super-hot, super-wicked smart, super-Bostonian, super-Jew.
And I would love to be killed in one of his movies.
BTdubs. Not sure why the formatting on this post got effed. Sorry about that, folks.
Follow Eli Roth here:
www.twitter.com/eliroth
And go here and bid on him for charity. (I can't do it; no money. BAAAH.) He'll follow the highest bidder on Twitter and Skype them for 15 minutes.
http://www.twitchange.com/
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